Thursday, 30 August 2018

Ross's Wrestling Ratings : WWE Weekly Roundup 27/08/2018

Another week of wrestling and more ratings to give. And next week I'll also have All In and the Mae Young Classic to look at. Yay for more work.

Finn Balor vs Baron Corbin : *1/2

Sasha Banks vs Dana Brooke : 3/4*

Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens (Intercontinental Championship) : ****

The B-Team vs The Revival : *1/2

Natalya vs Alicia Fox : 1/2*

Bobby Lashley vs The Ascension : DUD

Dean Ambrose vs Jinder Mahal : 1/2*

Roman Reigns & Braun Strowman vs Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre : *

Quick Thoughts:

Not much to this show outside of a great IC Title match.

It's full steam ahead for the build to Hell in a Cell and we have a couple of matches set for the show like Reigns vs Strowman being announced and Bliss vs Rousey for the women's title. It seems we also have a tag title rematch set for the show.

The Bar vs The Good Brothers vs The Colons : **1/4

Naomi vs Billie Kay : DUD

Daniel Bryan vs Andrade Cien Almas : **3/4

Charlotte vs Carmella (Smackdown Women's Championship) : **1/2

Quick Thoughts:

Fun show with the return of King Booker (hilarious) and more set up for Hell in a Cell matches like AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe (surprisingly not in the Cell) and Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton (surprisingly in the Cell).

Lynch vs Charlotte looks like it's gonna be amazing and even the mixed tag match is looking better and better.

Akira Tozawa vs The Brian Kendrick : **1/4

Hideo Itami vs Hammond Edgar : 1/2*

Kalisto vs Buddy Murphy : ***3/4

Quick Thoughts:

As usual 205 Live is one of the funnest wrestling shows of the week and I would highly recommend it. This show was only 50 minutes and it flew by.

Dakota Kai vs Aliyah : **1/4

Keith Lee vs Luke Menzies : *

Ricochet & Pete Dunne vs The Undisputed Era : ***1/4

Quick Thoughts:

As always NXT is a blast, giving us fun matches while setting up future ones. Gargano vs Dream sounds great next week. 

Top 3 Matches of the Week:

1) Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens
2) Kalisto vs Buddy Murphy
3) Ricochet & Pete Dunne vs The Undisputed Era

Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Ross's Wrestling Ratings: Hell in a Cell 2017

Thought I'd take a look at each HIAC show leading up to this year's edition. Once I'm done with the PPV shows I'll also rate every other Cell match there's ever been.

The New Day vs The Usos (Smackdown Tag Team Championship/ Hell in a Cell) : ****1/2

Rusev vs Randy Orton : **

AJ Styles vs Baron Corbin vs Tye Dillenger (United States Championship) : ***1/4

Natalya vs Charlotte (Smackdown Women's Championship) : **

Shinsuke Nakamura vs Jinder Mahal (WWE Championship) : **

Bobby Roode vs Dolph Ziggler : *

Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens : (Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell) : ***1/2

Quick Thoughts:

I can see why I didn't remember much about this show as it starts off with a bang and a WWE Match of the Year contender with the Tag Title cell match, but it totally takes a dive after that.

There's nothing worth seeing with Orton and Rusev putting on a match that would barely be Smackdown worthy and Baron Corbin drags down what could have been a great triple threat with his boring offense.

The Women's Title match had potential up to a crappy DQ finish making it seem more like a TV match.

Jinder Mahal's terrible reign continues and this really brought down Nakamura's worth quite a bit. Thankfully it didn't last much longer after this.

Roode's PPV debut was a complete misfire as the crowd didn't care and he doesn't have a character to get behind.

Thankfully Shane did save things a bit by being absolutely mental as usual but the match was a bit overlong for what it was going for.

Overall a pretty bleh show. Watch the first match then skip to the last match.

Sunday, 26 August 2018

Ross's Game Reviews: P.T. (Silent Hills Teaser)

I was looking for a direction to take my horror game reviews and I thought I'd start by looking at some of my favourite series in the genre, starting with one that's very close to my heart: Silent Hill.

I know P.T. may seem like a strange place to start, but I wanted to do it while I still had it downloaded onto my PS4 (how much is it worth now?) and hopefully before it explodes cos it sounds like it's on the edge of breaking down. This teaser was released just over 4 years ago on unsuspecting players, so how does it hold up now? Let's take a look.

I would say no spoilers but there's not much to spoil here, and as always check out Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass on Facebook and follow me for review updates on Twitter @rossd9711

So a little background first of all. This game was released simply under the name P.T. on the Playstation Store with players having no clue that it was a teaser for another entry in the acclaimed Silent Hill series, and you only found this out if you managed to finish the teaser which was no easy feat. I mean I can't even finish the damn thing.

It was later revealed that the new entry in the series would be directed by none other than the gaming legend that is Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear series) and legendary filmmaker Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy, The Shape of Water) and to say that gamers were excited is an understatement.

Unfortunately after some backstage politics between Kojima and game company Konami (worst game company ever) the game was cancelled completely and this teaser was pulled from the Playstation Store and still remains off it til this day and I'm just lucky I saved it from when I first got my PS4.

The Silent Hill series still hasn't seen a revival and seems that it has now been deemed only suitable for a slot machine game. Seriously fuck Konami. They ruined Silent Hill and Metal Gear. Anyway onto the actual game before I start a rant.

There's not too much to say about the actual gameplay portion since this is only a teaser and can be finished within an hour if you know what you're doing. But holy hell they do pack a lot into that limited time.

There's no real story given either as you wake up as a man in an apartment building and have to walk down the same corridor over and over again with the environment only changing ever so slightly every time you reenter the hall. You're given snippets of a story from the radio as it constantly refers to a murder that has taken place, and you quickly realise that you're in the scene of the crime.

Things start slowly to build up the atmosphere, with the bathroom door opening by itself and then suddenly shutting closed with loud banging from the other side. At one point the door is only slightly open and you take a peak inside to see what's making the noises, only for a dark figure to appear right in front of your face to slam the door shut. If you can continue on from this point then you have proven a bit of bravery.

Then you reenter the hallway again and then SHE appears. Lisa. She stands there staring at you from the darkness making what can only be described as some of the most unsettling sounds in gaming. You have no choice but to walk towards her and then she disappears in the darkness, leaving only some cockroaches behind. Again if you can continue past this point then well done you.

There's also one point where you can enter the bathroom and come to find what I guess is a blood covered fetus in the sink. You can do nothing but look at it while an unknown presence attempts to enter the same room as you, leaving you feeling helpless.

This all comes to a head when you turn out around at one point in the hallway and receive one of the biggest jumpscares in gaming as Lisa decides to get up close and personal. Normally I'm ok with jumpscares as I usual just end up jumping a bit and laughing at myself, but this is one of the only ones to nearly make me audibly scream it was that terrifying. If you can get past this point then congrats because this is where a lot of people turned it off for good.

Past this point is where the game really starts to fuck with you as your flashlight will convey shadows in front of you where it looks like Lisa's twitching body is right behind you, and after that earlier jumpscare you'll be too terrified to even look back and see if she's there, haunting your every step. Even the music is diabolical and nightmare-inducing as if the whole experience wasn't anyway.

At points Lisa will begin to appear randomly and it's totally disturbing no matter how many times I see it and it will definitely stay with you even after you finish with it. Normally I would recommend a nighttime atmosphere for a horror game, but with this one that definitely isn't recommended as weird dreams and nightmares are almost guaranteed, and that's if you're not too afraid to go to sleep afterwards.

The puzzles that are presented are also pretty challenging and made even more difficult by feeling like you're being watched the whole time but I couldn't even make it to the end and apparently the ending puzzle is totally ridiculous in how challenging it is.

Given that this is just a teaser and not a proper game it is harder to rate based on that, but you can't argue with the quality here. The game looks fantastic (still better looking than a lot of current games) and as a general horror experience it's unparalleled. It's just a damn shame that it's so difficult to even play now due to Konami's fuckery.

But still since this is technically an official part of the Silent Hill series, I consider it a part of the history of that franchise and I have no doubt that the full game for this could have brought new life to not only the series, but to the horror genre as a whole.

Rating: 10/10

Thursday, 23 August 2018

Ross's Wrestling Reviews: WWE Weekly Roundup 20/08/2018

I actually did it! For the first time in forever I watched all four main weekly WWE tv shows and every single match that took place has been rated. I had fun doing this so I'll definitely keep it up for now. I'm glad it doesn't really interfere with my other reviews too.

So how was the fallout after Summerslam? Let's take a look.

Bobby Lashley vs Baron Corbin : *1/2

Bayley / Sasha Banks / Ember Moon vs The Riott Squad : **

Dean Ambrose vs Dolph Ziggler : **

Curt Hawkins vs Elias : 1/4*

Titus Worldwide vs The Authors of Pain : *

Bo Dallas vs Scott Dawson : 1/4*

Curtis Axel vs Dash Wilder : 1/4*

Roman Reigns vs Finn Balor (Universal Championship) : ***3/4

Quick Thoughts: 

Yeah Raw wasn't too much to talk about and surprisingly there's no NXT call ups like we had last year. 

Surprisingly they seem to be setting a storyline for HHH vs Taker in Australia which is kind of cool and I hope it wasn't just a one off promo. 

Roman Reigns is getting a lot better both in the ring and on the mic and I'm starting to dig him a bit. 

Ronda Rousey's coronation was weird and didn't really set anything up but Ronda comes across as a freaking star and I can't wait to see what's next for her. 

And finally the Shield have returned and hopefully won't have too many roadblocks this time. I'm interested to see where they go with the Strowman cash in now that the Shield are watching Roman's back. 


Yeah I decided to watch the free match on NJPW World so I thought I'd rate it as a bonus. Check it out on their website if you fancy it. 

Prince Devitt vs Hiroshi Tanahashi (Lumberjack Deathmatch on 29/09/13) : ***3/4

Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton : *

Naomi vs Peyton Royce : *

Andrade Cien Almas & Zelina Vegas vs Rusev & Lana : **1/4

The New Day vs The Bludgeon Brothers (Smackdown Tag Team Chaampionship No DQ) : ***1/2

Quick thoughts : 

While there wasn't much to Hardy vs Orton, it was more angle than match and I'm really enjoying the storyline with the newly heel Orton and I can't wait to see where it goes. Hardy's swanton off the stage was awesome too. 

I loved Becky Lynch's heel promo and she did try her best to get the crowd to boo her but they weren't having any of it. The subsequent brawl with Charlotte was great and I can't wait for the match they'll most likely have in Hell in a Cell. 

Almas tapping out to Rusev wasn't something I liked though as I was hoping they would keep Almas strong, but unfortunately he just seems to be another NXT call up that won't get the attention he deserves. 

Samoa Joe is the greatest. That is all. 

New Day are five time champs and I'm cool with that and it's a shame that Rowan has his injury but it'll be interesting to see where the tag division goes next. 

Noam Dar vs TJP : **1/2

Lucha House Party vs Tony Nese & Buddy Murphy : ****

Quick thoughts:

205 Live is quickly becoming WWE's must see show along with NXT and this show was no exception with a stand out main event. 

We were supposed to get Tozawa vs Delaney but that was interrupted by Drew Gulak and his entourage to seemingly set up another title match. I approve. 

Bianca Belair vs Deonna Purrazzo : **1/4

Pete Dunne vs Zack Gibson (United Kingdom Championship) : ****

Quick thoughts:

This was never going to be much of a show as it was mainly highlights from Takeover, but even with that it shined. 

Pete Dunne gave another star performance and I have no idea why he's not a main eventer yet. 

After a backstage segment it seems like we might be poised for Dunne vs Ricochet and I am so excited for the prospect of it. It feels even closer now that it's been announced that next week we'll have The Undisputed Era vs Ricochet & Dunne.

Top 3 Matches of the Week: 

1. Pete Dunne vs Zack Gibson
2. Lucha House Party vs Nese & Murphy
3. Roman Reigns vs Finn Balor

Wednesday, 22 August 2018

Ross's Movie Reviews - Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

It's finally over. No more Texas Chainsaw related movies until a new one is released. After this I think I'm done with sticking with one particular franchise unless absolutely necessary, and boy am I glad did I keep this one for last. Do my Chainsaw reviews end with a bang or a whimper? Let's take a look.

No major spoilers here and as usual, make sure to check out Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @rossd9711

Like the previous sequel, this one only really makes mention of the 1974 original movie as part of the opening credits and makes sure to leave out the last two movies.

We start with the end of a high school prom as some drama unfolds between some teens and four of them end up driving back home together, but after a nasty road collision, they end up in some mysterious woodland.

This all happens within the first five minutes of the movie and is as rushed as you can imagine as we don't get any time to meet our 'heroes' aside from the fact that the one called Barry who's a complete cock and I got so sick of him so quickly.

We also surprisingly have Renee Zellweger of all people in the main role which I believe is her first proper movie role that wasn't just aired on TV. God knows how she had a career after this though as her performance really wasn't that great. It might just be because compared to most of her cast mates she may as well have been Meryl Streep.

I won't even mention the other two as there's nothing worth talking about.

And now we get to Leatherface. Oh poor Leatherface. I've made fun of some his appearances in the past for being too goofy but this is just absolute rock bottom for the poor guy. I mean the first time you see him he just looks like a guy wearing a cheap Halloween costume put together at the last second and just screams all the time. And it's not a scary or creepy scream, it's a fucking annoying scream that grates my ears everytime I hear it.

Not only that, but after he at least acts like a normal Leatherface for the first part of the film, for the rest of it he's just a total bitch and whines and can be put down by being shouted at! A low point for a horror icon indeed.

Even the fucked up family is just worse this time around and they tried to give it a weird organised cult feeling to spice it up a little but it just didn't work because it doesn't make sense. They even make their surname Slaughter. What lazy bullshit is that? The whole movie just comes across as bad student film quality and it makes me wonder who thought any of this was a good idea.

Although we do have one bright spot and his name is Matthew McConaughey. He plays the family leader Vilmer and is a cold blooded killer. Like Zellweger this is also his first proper movie role and he just absolutely kills it here. It feels like he's the only one here who gave a damn and really just goes for it with his performance.

He's absolutely nuts and just so believable that he ends up becoming the most memorable part of the movie by far.

Still though, one great performance can't excuse the rest of this as, similar to some of the other movies in the series, it just tries to copy what's already been done way better before and just fails in every way at it.

There's really no reason at all for this movie to exist and does for the Chainsaw franchise other than dragging it down further into an early grave.

Terrible movie and honestly one of the worst I've ever had to sit down and watch. Thank god it lasts less than 90 minutes.

Rating: 1/10

Monday, 20 August 2018

Ross's Wrestling Ratings: Summerslam 2018


Rusev & Lana vs Andrade Cien Almas & Zelina Vega : **

Cedric Alexander vs Drew Gulak (Cruiserweight Championship) : ***

The B Team vs The Revival (Raw Tag Team Championship) : *1/2

Main Show:

Seth Rollins vs Dolph Ziggler (Intercontinental Championship) : ****1/4

New Day vs The Bludgeon Brothers (Smackdown Tag Team Championship) : ***

Braun Strowman vs Kevin Owens (for the MITB briefcase) : *

Becky Lynch vs Charlotte vs Carmella (Smackdown Women's Championship) : ***1/2

AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe (WWE Championship) : ****

Daniel Bryan vs The Miz : ****1/4

Finn Balor vs Baron Corbin : *

Jeff Hardy vs Shinsuke Nakamura (United States Championship) : **1/2

Ronda Rousey vs Alexa Bliss (Raw Women's Championship) : **

Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar (Universal Championship) :  ***

This show was surprisingly fun, and while not as good as Takeover, it was still one of the best Summerslam shows of the last ten years. No bad matches on the main show with three of them four or more stars and another three with three or more stars. It was an easy watch with a few short matches thrown in for good measure. Check it out.

I've decided that since I'm just doing star ratings for these and not full on reviews, I thought I would try and do a WWE roundup every week, most likely on Thursdays, and will be one post featuring star ratings from Raw, Smackdown, 205 Live and NXT.

I'll start including things like the Mae Young classic when that starts and continue to work on ratings for older shows and Network Collections. PPVs, Takeovers and other big shows will be kept separate. I'll also keep doing New Japan shows whenever they crop up and even 'All In' next week.

Sunday, 19 August 2018

Ross's Wrestling Ratings: NXT Takeover Brooklyn IV

No spoilers here.

Shoutout to Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass on Facebook and remember to follow me on Twitter @rossd9711

NXT Tag Team Championship - Undisputed Era vs Moustache Mountain : ***** 

(A fantastic end to a fantastic trilogy with many callbacks to previous encounters and some great drama)

EC3 vs Velveteen Dream : ***1/4

NXT North American Championship - Adam Cole vs Ricochet : ****1/4

NXT Women's Championship - Shayna Bazler vs Kairi Sane : ****

(The best NXT match so far for both women and the best since the days of Asuka's reign)

NXT Championship Last Man Standing match - Tommaso Ciampa vs Johnny Gargano : *****

(I think I can safely say that this is the match to finally dethrone HHH/Jericho as the best Last Man Standing match ever. A vicious brawl that kept me hooked the whole way through)

For anyone curious I would also rate the other two Takeover matches between Ciampa and Gargano as five stars. 

Overall a must see show and I can't see anything outside of New Japan beating it for the best show of the year.

I'm also working on rating every match in the Jim Neidhart collection on the Network which should be finished soon.

Tune in tomorrow for ratings on Summerslam.

Saturday, 18 August 2018

Ross's Game Reviews: Outlast 2

"More pain and misery in the history of mankind
Sometimes it seems more like
The blind leading the blind
It brings upon us more famine, death and war
You know religion has a lot to answer for"

Iron Maiden - For the Greater Good of God (2006)

I've been looking forward to talking about this one. The original Outlast was an outstanding horror game that had players chewing at the bit for an improved follow up. But this...... this is just a completely different animal.

It's like the developers took a look at the original and said "How can we make this even more fucked up than before?". I'm pretty sure they succeeded there but I'm getting ahead of myself.

No major spoilers and again I recommend checking out the Facebook page Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass and also follow me on twitter for review updates @rossd9711

I reviewed this game using the Xbox One version but have also played the PS4 version and this is just as good. I'm sure the PC version is probably the best.

The game starts you off as journalist Blake Langermann in a helicopter with his wife, Lynn, as they are investigating the apparent murder of a pregnant woman in the Arizona desert.

Suddenly a mysterious siren blares in the distance and somehow causes the helicopter's engines to fail and crash into a canyon. You wake up near the flames of the wreckage but Lynn is nowhere to seen. Although you do find the pilot of the copter, tied to a tree and skinned alive by an unknown entity. Didn't take too long for this story to get screwed up did it?

You make your way through a small town trying to find your wife or any help, but it's practically empty save for a few locals in the trees watching your every move which never ceases to give me shivers. Everything is wrong. Dead bodies are strewn all around, you find the carcasses of animals left to rot with their innards scattered on the ground.

Eventually you run into a tall woman called Marta and believe me when I say YOU NEVER WANT TO RUN INTO MARTA. Not only is she fast, but she also has a massive scythe that will kill you almost instantly, and the death animation features you having your genitals torn off. It doesn't help that when she does chase you, a hellish choir springs up in the background, making it sound as if you're being chased by the devil himself. You might as well be. Unfortunately for the player she will appear many more times and will hunt you until she gets to take away your manhood by force.

Eventually you are able to locate Lynn as she has been captured by the religious nutcases of the town and is to be killed as they believe that she is pregnant with the antichrist. At first this seems impossible as Blake hasn't had sex with her in months and even then protection was used. Can it be all that impossible though?

After escaping from the cult you run into the other cult that this lovely mountain community holds just known as The Heretics, and they plan to take Lynn to their lair in the Mines so that the antichrist may be born and bring about the end of all things. So most of the game is now is Blake trying everything he can to get Lynn back and he'll go through literal hell to get her.

Aside from this part of the game, there are also dream/flashback sequences that Blake has back to his childhood and the school he went to as he seems to be going through some repressed enemies about an old friend called Jessica, as she was found hung from a noose in school from an apparent suicide, but as these sections go on you find that the circumstances around her death are a lot more sinister.

The gameplay this time is very similar to the first with only some slight changes here and there. The camera has improved this time as you now have audio feedback so you can hear where unseen enemies are lurking so you have more of an idea of where to hide or any alternative paths to take. It can be a god send at times.

This time though there's no battery counter as you instead have to check your pockets to see how many you have spare which I like as it gives the game a bit more realism to make you feel like you're actually there. You can also record certain events in the game which you can look back at any time that can give you hints on where to go next.

It's also the same in that whenever a threat spots you, your only options are to run and hide and pray they don't find you. There are more options now like hiding underwater and peeking to see if the enemy has moved on, or locking doors behind you to give you a longer chance to escape.

I do have to say that if you are easily offended, then this game is definitely not for you, especially if you are offended by any particular religious imagery. For example early on in the game you find a dark room with the only light coming through in the shape of a cross, shining down on a pile of children's corpses that you have to walk on to get to the next section.

The game also brings up controversial topics like religious officials using their position to abuse children and others. It's implied through the documents scattered around the game that the cult leader known as Knoth, has impregnated every young girl in the community and subsequently killed the child before it born in a similar fashion to the religious story of Abraham ordered by God to kill his son, so that he may prove his faith.

If the original Outlast was fucked up, then this is on a whole other level.

And this is only in the town sections, as the school flashback sections may be even worse. They are certainly the scariest parts of the game as they have a more supernatural element to them and have more moments that have you jumping out of your skin and turning the game off completely. Yes this even happened to me on a second playthrough as it can change itself up in a moment's notice.

As the school sections become more distorted, you begin to be chased by an unnameable creature. I honestly don't know what to call it aside from a living nightmare. It's a humanoid figure with multiple limbs and tentacles and isn't like any other enemy in these games. If he catches you it's instant death, making him more terrifying than any other enemy. He's caused a few sleepless nights.

I have to say though that there is a section later on in the game in a more forgotten part of the cult where the diseased townsfolk are left to rot. It's pretty disgusting as they don't mind vomiting all over you. I mention this because they have a leader which is a small mine riding on top of a larger man, and for some reason I've never seen or heard anyone making a comparison to Master Blaster from Mad Max 3.

Uncanny is it not?

I mentioned at the beginning of the review that there is a siren which causes your helicopter to go down, and this is heard all throughout the game, causing you to flashback to the school, causing locals to go even crazier, causing fish in the rivers to die and the birds in the sky to fall down dead. I don't think it's ever explained what the siren actually is, but if I had to guess myself I would say it's the Murkoff Corporation trying more experiements, and they're probably to blame for the events in the game.

Murkoff is never mentioned at all, but I like to think that they're shadowy figures operating in the background, linking the games in the series together. That's another thing I like about this game in that it doesn't give you definitive answers for anything going on, only leaving clues in the form of documents and anything you've noticed yourself. I like games that let the player try to figure out an explanation on their own rather than spoon-feeding an explanation. In this way, the game really rewards you for exploration.

I know that a few players were critical of the game in the fact that it's not always clear where you need to go, but in my opinion this only adds to the horror as you can end up in a blind panic trying to find an escape route or use the environment to your advantage. If it was clear where to go it woudn't be very scary would it?

The game has a more open world feel to it than the first one, which I personally preferred as it encourages you to look around and find your own path to where you need to go and it's up to you to try and avoid potential threats. And a lone cactus. Fuck the cactus.

The only real criticism I have of the game is a rafting section mid-way through which just seems to take forever and doesn't control that well at all. Thankfully it only happens once but it's the only part I don't look forward to when playing again.

As far as graphics go the game looks absolutely stellar, and when it's not busy terrifying you it will wow you with just how real everything looks and feels. The soundtrack is also impressive and at times during some of the chase scenes or school sections, will send chills all the way down your spine.

Overall I think this game is just a marvel and easily one the best and most enjoyable horror games I've ever played and it's one I'll be happy to play again and again, and maybe even try Nightmare mode if I'm feeling brave. If you like your horror or even just a thrilling game to play, definitely give it a try. But if it feels like it might be too much for you, it will be, and in the words of Hellraiser's Pinhead, it will tear your soul apart. Your nerves probably won't do well either.

Rating: 9.5/10 

Tuesday, 14 August 2018

Ross's Movie Reviews - Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3

Thankfully there's only one more movie after this one to go as I'm starting to get tired of this series and want to move onto something different.

This is the first movie in the series not to be directed by Tobe Hooper, this time directed by Jeff Burr with such gems to his name as Puppet Masters 4 & 5, and Mil Mascaras vs The Aztec Mummy (how is that one even a thing?)

Instead of the weird black comedy direction of the film that came before this, they seem to have opted to go back to a straight up horror which appears to be the right idea. So how does this one hold up with the rest of the franchise? Let's take a look.

No major spoilers here. Also just want to give another shout out to the awesome Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass page I write for that I would recommend to any movie fans and even fans of wrestling. Also check out what I'm doing in between reviews on my twitter page where you can follow me @rossd9711.

First off the movie starts off a credit sequence explaining what happened in the very first movie, and seems to have glossed over the events of Massacre 2 which is most likely for the best otherwise the tone of the movie could have drastically changed.

The movie follows a couple called Michelle and Ryan (they may have relationship issues but that's never really brought up) as they make their way across Texas to deliver their car to Michelle's dad. Intriguing plot. They make their way to a gas station and come across Tex, played by the always awesome Viggo Mortensen, at his gas station where there's also a creepy guy that decides to try and shoot the couple.

They come across some car trouble and that's where they meet Leatherface for the first time. I think this Leatherface, played here by R. A. Mihailoff, is much better than the previous one as he's way more of a badass than a the wimp he was before and just seems intent on killing everything in sight.

He still has a leg brace in a nice bit of continuity from the first movie after he accidentally tore it up with his own chainsaw. Although speaking of continuity, the rest of Leatherface's family seems to be made up of entirely different characters from the previous movies aside from grandpa (see pictured below) and it's never really explained where these guys came from or if they've just always been part of the same family. 

This time there's even a little girl who's never named, but she's definitely one the creepier aspects of the movie and I give credit to the young actress who played her as she really goes for it here even if she's not in it much.

The film isn't as gory as the second instalment but I preferred this as it wasn't too over the top and worked for this kind of film.

Also making an appearance is Ken Foree as survivalist Benny. Ken has a huge filmography to his name including a ton of horror movies, most notably as Peter in the original Dawn of the Dead. He actually might have been my favourite character here as he was the only one tough enough to go toe to toe with Leatherface on more than one occasion. He's also the one smartest enough to bring a gun to a chainsaw fight.

I know I haven't mentioned our main couple but that's because there's not much to them and they do bring down the first half of the movie as it mostly features them and they were pretty boring when it was just the two of them. Ryan, played by William Butler, was particularly annoying as he was just there to whine and complain the whole time.

Michelle does get a little better as the film goes on mind you as her character starts to go a little crazy and just doesn't give a fuck after seeing some of the horrors that the Sawyer family has to offer.

As for the rest of the film it's just a run of the mill copy of the original with a lot of the same kind of scenes you would expect in one of these films and just really comes across as another generic slasher. While Massacre 2 might have been weird, at least it had it's own identity and gives me a reason to want to watch it again, while this one just kind of plods along until the more interesting horror scenes and doesn't give me a reason to want to experience it again.

This is a bit of a shorter review than normal but that's just because I don't have much to say about it. There's not much I can actually recommend unless you just want to say you've seen the entire series. It's not terrible by any means, but it's not good enough to warrant any interest. Overall it gets a big fat meh from me.

Rating: 4.5/10

Sunday, 12 August 2018

Ross's Wrestling Ratings: G1 Climax 28 Finals

So this is something I thought I'd try out for the foreseeable future as these will be very short posts with just the ratings of the matches on a particular show with no spoilers at all for anyone that wants to know which matches they should watch on any given show.

I was just aiming to do with with some of this year's G1 as it has been spectacular overall, but I may continue with WWE events and I was also thinking of trying it with wrestling DVDs and the huge amount of collections on the Network.

This won't take time out of me reviewing movies and games as I usually just watch wrestling in my downtime anyway so it shouldn't alter my schedule in any way.

So let's see what the matches on the final G1 show get.

Togi Makabe / Michael Elgin / Tomoaki Hanma vs Yuji Nagata / Shota Umino / Ayato Yoshida : **1/2

Toa Henare vs Bad Luck Fale : 1/2*

Taichi / Takashi Iizuka vs Hirooki Goto / Yoshi-Hashi : **

Cody / Hangman Page vs Juice Robinson / David Finlay : ***

Bullet Club Elite (Young Bucks & Marty Scurll) vs Bullet Club OG (GOD & Taiji Ishimori) for the NEVER Openweight Trios Championship : ***1/2

Los Ingobernables De Japon (Tetsuya Naito / EVIL / SANADA / Bushi) vs Suzuki Gun (Minoru Suzuki / Zack Sabre Jr / El Desperado / Yoshinobu Kanemaru) : ***1/4

CHAOS (Tomohiro Ishii / Jay White / Toru Yano) vs Bullet Club Elite (Kenny Omega / Chase Owens / Yujiro Takahashi) : ***1/4

Rey Mysterio Jr / KUSHIDA / Prowrestler Sengokuenbu vs CHAOS (Okade & Roppongi 3K) : ***1/2

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Kota Ibushi in the G1 Climax 28 Finals Match : ***** (Absolute classic war you should check out)

Overall a pretty fun show with a bit too many tag matches for my liking with the only singles match in the undercard being the short, shitty Fale match. Definitely check out the Finals match though. MOTY candidate for sure.

Saturday, 11 August 2018

Ross's Game Reviews: Outlast (and Whistleblower DLC)

Now this'll be a fun one. I thought over the next couple of game reviews I'd take a look at one of the more popular horror series of the modern era in Outlast before I move onto more familiar surroundings in a particular fog filled town.

I was going to keep the first game and DLC reviews separate but I'd forgotten how short the DLC actually is so I figured it was easier to make one big review as it's technically all the same game anyway.

So this was one a lot of people have claimed to be one of the scariest of all time especially around the time of release, but does it still hold almost five years later? Let's take a look.

No major spoilers, and again please check out the awesome Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass page on Facebook where I post all my reviews, and also check out my twitter @rossd9711 for updates on what I'm working on.

Let's begin. Also I've played this game on PS4 and Xbox One and both versions were as good as each other, although I imagine PC is the best place to play.

It makes sense to start with the first game so we'll go there. You play as freelance investigative journalist called Miles Upshur who has received a tip from the inside of Mount Massive Asylum that inhumane experiments are taking place inside the Asylum and he heads up alone to investigate. The place is run by the Murkoff Corporation and their ethics have always been questionable and their experiments here need to be shown to the world.

As you make your way through the dark hallways your mission quickly goes from investigating goings on to escaping the madhouse before you're slaughtered by the many crazed inhabitants that are dead set on beating you to death.

It becomes clear that something bad happened here, as the inmates are all over the place, there's blood on the floor, some of the inmates are petrified, and it isn't long before you come across a room filled with dead bodies and severed heads, with a near death soldier telling you that you need to get out before you meet the same gory fate.

And if that wasn't enough, you also run into an ex-soldier named Chris Walker who also has his eyes set on tearing your throat from your neck for most of the game. He's huge and your only hope is to run away and hide and pray that he doesn't find you.

This also goes for all the other enemies in the game as you can only run and hide to escape from them to complete your objectives and progress. It can lead to some intensely creepy moments, like trying to activate the power down in the basement and moving around in the darkness while trying to avoid a dangerous inmate, as you constantly find yourself hiding in lockers and behind any object you can find. If you are of a nervous disposition you may find this game almost impossible to get through as it filled with many moments like this.

Making the atmosphere even more unpleasant is the presence of your camera which acts as your light source as it has a night vision mode to help you see in the complete darkness, but there's just something to the realism of it that just leaves you feeling uneasy whenever it's on and the fact that the battery life doesn't last very long doesn't help.

Having the camera on while hiding under a bed from a threat is heart pounding, and I found myself pausing the game if I was ever caught over the fright it gave me. The game surprisingly isn't as gory as I expected but it does have it's moments (especially Whistleblower which we'll get to soon) and if you're not a fan of penises then you're going to have a bad time as there are two, surprisingly intelligent and well-spoken, inmates that try to kill you and don't mind doing so with all their glory blowing in the wind.

Now pictured above is a motherfucker known as Doctor Trager and this guy is an asshole of the highest order. He traps you in his sanctum and he just likes to fuck with you. He's almost super sane rather than simply insane and he's an enemy you have to be clever around as he can catch you quite easily. He also doesn't mind talking shit while chasing you so he can just fuck right off.

The game is actually pretty short and can be finished in about 4-5 hours depending on how scared you get during certain sections. The only criticism I do have is that some sections can get repetitive but the game does try and change things up during certain sections so I'll give it some credit.

Now we'll move onto the Whistleblower DLC which was released a short time after the main game had been released and takes place around the same time. This time you're playing as Waylon Park, a software engineer for the Murkoff Corporation, and the Whistleblower (there it is!) that originally sent the email for investigation to Miles Upshur, but is caught by the company and becomes part of an experiment as a result.

Of course, the inmates are now loose and you need to find your way to freedom and back to your family. Like I said earlier this additional content is very short as I finished it in around a couple of hours so there isn't as much to talk about.

As well as encountering some of the previous enemies from the original game, there are some new additions here and somehow they are even more unsettling and dangerous. First off you have a crazed cannibal that you encounter while he's eating a security guard and then decides he loves you and wants your flesh for his next meal. The worst thing about him is that he also carries a saw that you can hear in the distance and it really makes you fearful to move from room to room.

And then you have this fucker that's somehow even worse than Trager! His name is Eddie Gluskin or "The Groom" as he's more affectionately known. I don't think I've ever been more disturbed being chased by an enemy especially while he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong and calls you Darling.

It's when you find out what he really does to other inmates when you see just how sadistic and out of his mind he really is. He's looking for the perfect partner and since there only seems to be other men around, he has resorted to castration (with anaesthetic I might add) leading to some horrifically gory visuals that could have you turning off the game altogether. I love it.

Unfortunately your next on his list and he has a massive saw heading straight for your genitals. He's also of the thought that men can reproduce with other men and claims many times that he's looking to plant his seed for children of his own. It's gloriously fucked up and will have you begging for escape.

Overall these games are a ton of fun but can be horrifically intense and scary for the uninitiated so caution is advised if you are of a weak heart. If you love horror though, this'll be right up your alley, mixing more realistic encounters with the supernatural. Play this if you haven't already and if you haven't tried the sequel...... well we'll get onto that soon enough.

Rating: 8.5/10

Tuesday, 7 August 2018

Ross's Reviews: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

This is a weird ass movie. Like really weird. It was released in 1986, twelve years after the first movie in the series came out. I have no idea why it took so long as it was even directed by Tobe Hooper, director of the original.

After researching the film a bit, it makes more sense as Tobe had apparently originally intended for the first movie to be considered more of a black comedy rather than a horror (how in the name of cthulhu, that was meant to comedic I'll never know), and took his opportunity at another movie to get his original intentions on the screen. You could never tell that this was directed by the same person.

No major spoilers.

The story also takes place about 12 years after the original as the Sawyer family have disappeared after the police went searching for them after testimony from the lone survivor of the first movie. Even with their disappearance, occasional chainsaw related crimes still pop up around Texas but no culprit has ever been found.

The movie starts with two nameless assholes on some road trip who are obviously intended to be completely unlikable to the point where you want to see them meet their end. Eventually they do at the hands of a returning Leatherface and their death is heard over the radio as they were on the phone to a rock request station at their time of death.

The knowledge of this recording leads Lt Boude (Dennis Hopper) on a trail to catch the murderers of his niece and nephew 12 years prior. We also meet DJ Stretch who I guess you can say is our main character as she gets the most screen time.

First off, while Dennis Hopper isn't in this often, he is a complete highlight as his performance goes so over the top at one point that you can't help but laugh at his antics. Caroline Williams as Stretch is also fun to watch as she makes for a good scream queen.

Most of the original Sawyer family make their returns aside from Leatherface who is played by Bill Johnson this time rather than Gunner Hansen. They even have Bill Moseley as the hitchhiker's twin brother since he met his demise in the first one. They've been hammed up to heaven and back as even they somehow manage to be more over the top this time around.

Jim Siedow returning as the family patriarch, Drayton Sawyer, and I'll admit that he even got a few laughs out of me. All of this does seem to be at the expense of poor Leatherface. He looks sillier than ever and is a major step down from the iconic, horrifying original. Even the way he moves and reacts is made to be more comedic and it's almost sad to watch. He's not even a proper villain here as Stretch tries to seduce him and make friends to survive.

Weirdly enough, this movie is still gory and has some hard to watch moments which does mix up the tone a bit as it definitely brings down any comedic value they were going for. There's one point that seems to be set up for a laugh, but considering that it involves someone's skinned face, it really doesn't get the reaction it wants.

Another disappointment is the face that the last act is almost an exact reenactment of the last act of the original, just nowhere near as disturbing and doesn't make sense as the grandpa returns, is apparently 137 years old, and can somehow be even more mobile than he was before.

This is such a strange movie as I want to like it as it does have some really entertaining moments (and one really good jumpscare that actually got me) but there's just a little too much going against it. While the silliness can be funny, it can be a bit too goofy for it's own good and at times it doesn't seem to know what it really wants to be.

In terms of enjoyment I'd put this up with the 2003 remake in a case of it being a movie you're gonna love, hate, or just forget about after some time like any generic slasher. In my case, it's the latter for me and gets a slight recommendation for anyone that wants a funny movie with a slice of gore added in. Anyone that's a big fan of the original should probably stay far away, lest it ruin your memories of a classic.

Rating: 5/10

Sunday, 5 August 2018

Ross's Game Reviews: Aliens vs Predator (2010, PS3)

After thoroughly enjoying my time with the fantastic Alien Isolation, I felt like playing another game from the same franchise and I had this one from years back, so it felt like a good time to pick it up. So does it hold up 8 years later? Let's take a look.

For anyone looking to purchase this game to try for themselves, I would recommend Cex where you can get it for PS3 and Xbox 360 for £1.50, or you can get it on Steam where its current price is £9.99.
Also a shoutout to the Facebook page Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass where all my reviews go and you can find loads of other great movie content, and now you can also follow me on Twitter @rossd9711 where I will post to show what I'm doing in between reviews to keep you all up to date. Anyway onto the review.

Upon doing a bit of research for the game, I've found that there's been a fair few attempts at making an Aliens vs Predator game with varying degrees of success. As far as I can see this was the latest attempt at making a successful game in the franchise.

You have a few options when you start off the game as there are three main campaigns to choose from where you can either play as a Marine, an Alien, or a Predator. And the cool thing is you can play these campaigns in any order you want and it won't ruin the experience of the other campaigns.

You also have an option for a survival mode where you can play online co-op with friends to survive a horde of Aliens attacking you in a round system, similar to the Nazi Zombies set up in Call of Duty.

There's also a multiplayer mode which I couldn't really give a go as there's no one playing multiplayer on PS3 anymore, however I have a feeling that there may still be players in the Steam version, and from what I can remember when I originally played the game years ago, it was pretty fun and worth a try. Unless you were playing as a Marine in which case you died most of the time.

So lets take a look at the meat of the game starting with the Marine campaign. As a sidenote, I completed each of the three campaigns under Normal difficulty.

The Marine campaign starts you off as a Colonial Marine who has been sent out with other troops to take out a few Xenomorphs that have run free in a colony and caused havoc. You are a rookie that everyone calls....... rookie. Imaginative. Upon your ship's landing you are knocked out by the impact and left in a locked room with your buddies leaving you only with some flares and one pistol. Thanks guys. Pistols are great when there's a bunch of Xenos trying to kill me.

Anyway it's actually quite a tense start as you aren't totally armed to the teeth and there's no one else in this dark building which has no power, and you have to turn it on. After you do, you run into your first Xeno and that's where the fun begins.

It is kind of funny going from the unstoppable Xeno in Alien Isolation, to quickly mowing one down with a few pistol shots. This is where a couple of flaws seep in that could have easily been fixed to make the game scarier or just a little more tense. For starters you have an unlimited supply of flares that really light up the room and you only have to wait to recharge them for a very short amount of time so you're never completely in the dark. Also your starter pistol, which you keep for every mission, has an unlimited supply of ammo so you never really feel like you're in danger. It doesn't help that I never really had to use my pistol since there's ammo drops all over the damn place.

For health, you have a health bar with three sections. Your health will regenerate automatically as long as you haven't lost all your health in a section, and if you do, you can carry up to three Stim packs to heal yourself with. I personally never really ran out of these.

I didn't die that often in my playthrough and when I did, it was down to my own stupid fault. For example, if you decide to shoot a Xeno in the head with a shotgun when it's right next to you, the acid blood will get all over you and it's an instant death if that happens. It took me a few tries to learn not to do this anymore.

You get a few weapons you can try out with each having their pros and cons. You have the aforementioned shotgun which is powerful but can cause you harm if you're too close and ammo for it isn't always plentiful. You have the iconic assault rifle which doesn't do too much damage but it handy to keep around as it holds a lot of ammo and has a grenade launcher attached which is surprisingly ineffective most of the time. You can go with my favourite which was the sniper rifle as it has a ton of ammo, has a one shot kill, and has a scope that can pick out hidden Aliens for you. There's also the iconic railgun from Aliens which is a great gun to use, but this takes up both your gun slots so when you run out of ammo you need to quickly find a replacement gun.

And then we have the flamethrower. Oh my baby what have they done to you? This was my favourite weapon to use in Alien Isolation, but after one use here I never picked the damn thing up again. Don't get me wrong it's handy against eggs and those little facehugging bastards, but against the main threat of Xenos it's practically useless. Killing takes a bit of time, and then for some reason, the Aliens explode from the damage which can hurt you and even killed me! Yeah I'd avoid it.

As far as enemy types go there's only a few with the standard Xeno, a Xeno that shoots acid from afar, a double sized Xeno that acts as a mini boss, and combat androids from the Weyland-Yutani company that are best dealt with by a good shotgun blast.

There are a couple of bosses as well with the Alien Queen and the Predator. The queen fight is a joke as she doesn't attack you and you only need to destroy the explosive cannisters next to her to kill her. The Predator fight is pretty fun though as you're locked in an arena in a fight to the death to see who is better. Weirdly though, the final boss is the head of the Yutani company which is kind of boring and an unfair fight as he's overpowered and there's not really any cover.

I should say that there is an overarching story but it's basically what you would expect as the Yutani company tries to gain access to a Predator temple to find the Xenos homeworld because of course they are. That's really it.

Overall the Marine campaign was pretty fun and feels like what the Colonial Marines game should have been. My only complaint is how short the campaign is as it can be finished in about 2-3 hours but I guess that's to be expected since there are another two campaigns to go. I would also recommend playing on hard mode as that should give you a proper challenge as I felt that even Normal mode was too easy.

Next up is the Alien campaign

The Alien campaign starts off with you as a more intelligent Xeno known as '6' as you have been imprisoned by the Yutani company for experiments along with your siblings. After a power outage, you escape and take out the scientists and security guards in order to free your Queen and escape with the rest of your species. This is how you receive your objectives as your Queen sends them to you through her calls.

As for the actual gameplay, if you suffer from motion sickness at all then you are not going to have a good time here. I'm not bothered by it normally but even I had to take a couple of breaks while completing this. It doesn't ruin the game by any means but can cause a difficulty spike at times.

Since you're an Alien you can basically crawl up every wall you come across which in first person can be nauseating. Thankfully you also have an icon to tell you which direction you're facing compared to the ground.

I actually did have a lot of fun playing as the Alien (most of the time) as the combat sections feel more like Arkham Asylum as you wait to strike on your prey at the best time to avoid being shot at by soldiers. Taking out soldiers one by one with them getting confused and panicked is pretty satisfying. You also have a chance to use finishing moves which are a variety of different killing options to finish off your prey, such as piercing them with your tail, cutting their head off, or using your second mouth to blast their brains out. It's pretty gory and fun to use.

You can also use this on unarmed humans to harvest them by letting a facehugger attach itself to their face to create more siblings. One thing that did annoy me (and this is a theme) is that the same levels from the Marine campaign are used here, and this happens again in the Predator stages later on. Just feels a bit lazy.

There's no real endgame to this campaign as you're just doing what your Queen tells you to do, and it culminates with fighting off a few Predators. Now the game is called Aliens vs Predator so you think this would be the funnest part of the game, but it's far from it.

You have to fight in the same combat arena as before and this is a nightmare for the way the Alien moves as you find yourself stuck to walls, and as far as combat goes, all you need to do is block their attack and then attack back. Rinse and repeat until you've won. Pretty disappointing.

Overall I did have fun with Alien campaign even through all it's flaws and crappy boss fight. This is easily the shortest campaign though as you can finish it in about 1-2 hours.

And we'll end with the Predator campaign

Can I just start by saying that this is easily the best part of the game and I wish they had made the whole game just this. I mean you're playing first person as a Predator and you get all the gadgets that come with that! It's awesome!

You start off as a young blood about to complete his trials so that he may become an elite. Once this is completed, he is sent to the planet where they keep the temples as the humans have soiled their sacred ground and must be hunted along with the Xenos.

This is more stealth based gameplay but it's much better than the Alien campaign with all the tools that you have at your disposal. You can go invisible anytime and plan your attack. You can use you voice manipulation to district enemies from certain areas. Once isolated you can strike a killing blow that are the most brutal in the game as it mostly involves pulling their head off with their spine still attached, or in the case of the Aliens, ripping out their second mouth until they bleed to death.

If all else fails, you still have your claws for light and heavy attacks, or you can use the badass plasma shoulder gun that can unfortunately run out of energy so you need to be careful with it. Later on you also have the ability to use mines, a spiky boomerang, or a totally overpowered spear that I used all the time.

Again we have the same levels as we've already seen and the same enemies as well, including the double sized Xeno making a return for a mini boss fight in the arena.

For fans of the critically acclaimed Aliens vs Predator: Requiem, the hybrid Pred-Alien makes a return and is the main antagonist as your elders have claimed that you need to wipe this abomination from the planet. It's the final boss in what's actually a pretty fun boss fight at the end.

Sadly the campaign is also pretty short but not as bad as the Alien one as this can be finished in just over 2 hours. Again though, more of this please as I had an absolute blast.

Overall I can only give a slight recommendation to this game as the most gametime you can get out of all campaigns is about 7 hours and only the Predator campaign is really worth the price of admission. The Marine and Alien campaigns do have their moments though, so overall it's a decent package.

Rating: 6/10

Wednesday, 1 August 2018

Ross's Reviews: Texas Chainsaw (2013)

And back to this sordid franchise we come. I'll admit that after watching the surprisingly good The Beginning, I was dreading moving onto this one as it's one I've never actually seen before and I've heard nothing but bad things from critics and movie fans alike. Although it has been common for me in the past to enjoy movies that others deem bad. Can this one meet that same fate? Let's take a look.

No major spoilers here.

The movie actually starts off directly after the events of the original 1974 movie and even features clips showing the events of that movie for anyone that hasn't seen it before. It's pretty cool they decided to go for a straight up sequel instead of the typical remake we normally get, although that can lead to problems with ruining the legacy of the original.

For example: instead of leaving us wondering what happened to the original survivor and thinking that this family is still out there, why not just kill off the entire Sawyer family in the first five minutes of the movie? I hated this choice as it's similar to the beginning of Alien 3 where the events of the previous film don't matter so we can kill off the characters that are unneeded? Dumb idea.

Anyway the only survivor of the fire fight that kills the family is a small baby that is stolen away by a town member so they can have a baby of their own since they can't conceive one of their own. This baby grows up to be our main character known as Heather, played by Alexandra Daddario who also happens to be the only actor I enjoyed watching and had the only real interesting character.

This also reveals a big plothole which has been talked about regularly with this movie as it could have been easily fixed, but the timeframe just doesn't add up. This movie takes place in 2012, 38 years after the events of the original, and our main character who was a baby during the events of the first movie, looks about 25 years old at most. It's just such a dumb move and really pulls you out of the movie.

Anyways before I rant some more, Heather finds out she was adopted (shock horror) and has inherited some land from her deceased grandmother that she never knew. Oh and don't worry, they never reveal how the family knew where she was the entire time since that would have required some actual thought put into the plot.

We do have some other characters that end up going on the trip to Texas with Heather but the movie barely bothers to introduce them and so they end up being forgettable. They also throw in a subplot with Heather's boyfriend cheating with her best friend but this never goes anywhere and has no impact on the story whatsoever so I have no idea what the point was.

They even pick up a hitchhiker similar to the original, except it's nowhere near as creepy or interesting. Also when they eventually get to the mansion that Heather has inherited, THEY LEAVE THE MAN THEY HAVE NEVER MET ALONE IN THE HOUSE. It's been a while since a movie has annoyed me this much.

Of course Leatherface is still around and chaos ensues. Normally this would have saved the movie for me, but my god did they fuck it up. First off, he looks ridiculous. He looks like a fat Ken Dodd in a skin mask. It doesn't help that all of his killer moments are basically just retreads of most kills seen in the original movie, just done to look a little gorier. If you can't do it better than the original then don't even try.

What's worse is that this was originally intended as a 3D movie meaning that there a lot of dumb moments like the slow motion chainsaw towards the camera and it does just get annoying after a while.

I know I've basically just shat all over this movie so far but I have to admit that I was actually quite interested in the way the third act went. I won't say too much for spoilers sake but it was an interesting take on the lore of Leatherface and went a little way towards humanising him that I was weirdly into.

Don't get me wrong, the lead up to that particular point was slow as hell and just flat out boring at times so it wasn't really worth it in the end. Plus the movie bombed so it's not like we're getting a sequel to find out what happens next. All we got was a shitty redo in 2017's Leatherface.

I did think that that movie would be my least favourite of the series but this one easily takes the cake so far, and I'm scared that this might not even be the worst one with three still to go for me to watch.

Overall this movie was a complete waste of time and I can see why it was panned so badly. It's an insult to the classic it aims to continue the story of, and is just one of the least interesting horrors I've seen in a while with only an unexpected plot twist to give it any kind of merit, but it's not enough to save this pile of shit. It feels like the writers couldn't have cared less and it shows. Avoid this one like the plague. In fact a plague might be more enjoyable.

Rating: 2/10